She sent a message telling me to remind her to tell me something in the evening. In the evening, before we said good night, I asked what it was that she said I should remind her to tell me, and she answered, “You know, it’s okay. I’ll figure something out.”
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I woke up in the morning and saw that she had sent me messages and had deleted them. I greeted her and asked if she slept well. Her answer was, “Yes.” Every question I asked, she gave me a one-word answer. I asked, “Is everything alright?” Again she answered, “Yes.”
All through the day, she was acting somehow, but she wouldn’t tell me what the problem was, so I pretended I hadn’t noticed her actions because, to be honest, I also wasn’t in the mood to have a fight I didn’t start in any way.
Later in the evening, she sent a long voice note. Her first question was, “You woke up and saw I’d deleted messages I sent you, and you didn’t bother to know what I had sent and deleted. Do you even care about me at all? Especially when I’d told you I was going to tell you something and I didn’t say it.”
Again, I didn’t want a fight, so I asked calmly and respectfully, “Dear, what did you delete? I didn’t ask because I thought it would come up along the line just as it has come up now.”
“If I didn’t make noise about it, would you have asked me? It’s fine. I get it. I’m a bother in your life, and everything shows.”
I left everything she said, how annoying it was and how childish it sounded, and continuously asked her to tell me what she deleted and what it was that she wanted to say but didn’t say. She wouldn’t say anything because, according to her, I wouldn’t have bothered if she didn’t nag about it.
Two days later, after awkward silence between us, she sent me a message asking me to give her a loan of GHC2,500 and said she was going to pay when the month ended.
I asked, “Is this what you’ve been meaning to ask all this while? The message you deleted and the words you couldn’t say?” She answered, “You know how hard it is for me to ask for things like this. That’s why I’m hurt when you pretend you don’t know what I need.”
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Men Don’t Like It When Women Do The Paying
Our relationship has been very awkward for the past month. I don’t even know if we are still dating or if she has left me. All because I told her it was hard for me to get GHC2,500. That’s why I don’t probe when I suspect that is what she needs.
It’s never a lie, guys. #DontProbe. If #ItsHardToAsk, then #ItsHardToGive. Let’s all carry our hard and go.
—Devi
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