We got married under awkward circumstances. She was pregnant in the third month of our relationship, and truthfully, we were still new lovers who did not know each other that well. When I informed my father about the pregnancy, the first thing that came out of his mouth was marriage. I wanted us to wait until the baby arrived because I felt that during those nine months, we could get to know each other better and decide on the way forward.
I said everything that could possibly be said to convince him, and at some point he seemed convinced, but in my family marriage is taken very seriously, and once the discussion started there was no turning back. I was trying to avoid the situation where people rush into marriage only to end up divorced.
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Unfortunately, I had nobody on my side, so we got married regardless.
Then I cheated on her and it brought my family into the matter. I opened the door that morning to see my parents, uncles, and aunties lined up in front of my house, and later her people came too. At the meeting I said my part, knelt down, and apologised, promising that it would not happen again. Both families started talking and advising us, only for it to turn into an argument between the families. Accusations came from every direction, and that meeting did not end well at all.
We were still trying to tie the loose ends in our marriage when one day she said that she would not do the marriage anymore. She said that I was only a financial provider and that there were things expected of a husband that I was not fulfilling at all. The day she returned the drinks to my mother, they ended up insulting each other. That same week I received a call from the court clerk that my wife and her family were there to file for a divorce. He asked me if we could not try and solve the matter, but I told him he had seen the situation firsthand.
He even told me that they were asking her to give it a chance and consider reconciliation for the sake of our child, but she was relentless in seeing that I was served the papers. I gave him my address where they could serve me the divorce papers.
They did not serve me the papers, and three months later I had neither been served nor received a call from the court. I called the registrar and he said that he was on leave and that once he resumed, the process would continue.
Some time later I called again, only for him to tell me that he was no longer handling the case and that he assumed another court had already served me. How can another court be involved when all the documents had been signed and processed there?
I called my soon to be ex-wife to ask her what was happening, and the response she gave was, “You can also hold on there and wait.” I do not understand what game she was trying to play.
They were the ones who returned the drinks to my family and went ahead to court to file the divorce process, and I had no knowledge of this until it happened. Now I am waiting for the process to continue and see what happens, but it has been two years and I do not know what to do with my life.
I know the kind of influence her family has, and her parents know some very prominent people, so because of that I started thinking ahead and preparing myself for anything.
I have tried calling the registrar several times, but I get no response. At this point, I genuinely do not know where I stand. I do not know whether I am a married man waiting for a divorce.
I know the kind of influence her family has, and her parents know some very prominent people. Because of that, I started thinking ahead and preparing myself for anything.
I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone
These days, I watch my back every day as if they are coming for me. I do not know what their intentions are. Maybe they want to frustrate me. Maybe there is a process happening that I know nothing about.
Or maybe nothing is happening at all.
I honestly do not know what to think anymore.
—Arnold
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