Dear Abigail,
This is the first time I am writing you a letter, so I hope I do a good job.
First of all, let me get straight into it and take you down memory lane. Do you remember when I asked you to marry me? It was during the peak of the “marriage is a scam” era. Everywhere you turned, people had something to say about marriage. Some said marriage is a scam. Some said it is sweet. Others said it comes with too many responsibilities. Some even claimed it is a loss for men and a gain for women.
In spite of all those scary opinions, you still chose to do life with me. Thank you for choosing me, because there were many women who didn’t. As we prepare to begin this journey together, I want you to know that we will define our marriage in our own unique way. We will love each other, sacrifice for one another, forgive each other when we fall short, and serve God in a way that brings Him glory through this union.
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I know there are many things you wished we could do for our wedding, and I appreciate how understanding you’ve been after we talked about them. I don’t want us to begin our marriage struggling financially. I know cutting a wedding cake was something you really wanted, and I want you to know that I haven’t forgotten. I promise we will cut many more cakes as we celebrate the beautiful milestones God will bless us with in the years ahead. Thank you for understanding my heart and for agreeing that we should keep our costs down.
You and I both know that we are still learning about each other. I remember you telling me about the comments people make whenever you make a small mistake. They ask things like, “Are you taking this into marriage?” or, “You can’t be doing this when you’re about to get married.”
Well, I want you to know something from the bottom of my heart. I don’t expect you to be perfect. I don’t expect anything outrageous from you. I simply want you to be yourself and enjoy life with me. Let’s laugh more. Let’s play more. Let’s have fun. Let’s enjoy this marriage instead of trying to impress people with a picture-perfect relationship.
You know, during my years of being single, there were many evenings when I closed from work and had no idea what I was going to eat. I know that when we’re married, you’ll probably ask me, “What would you like to eat?” and my answer will most likely be, “Anything you can prepare.”
What I’m really trying to tell you is this: please don’t stress yourself trying to cook something extraordinary every day. Whatever you make with love, I will gladly eat when I get home. Just put your thoughts together, mix things up with a little variety from time to time, and I’ll genuinely appreciate every meal you prepare.
As we build this home together, I need your cooperation. You don’t have to agree with me on everything, and I don’t expect you to. But whenever you don’t understand something, I would love for you to ask questions instead of making assumptions. I believe that honest conversations will help us understand each other better and strengthen our marriage.
Every time I pray, I ask God to give me a woman who will never stand in the way of my relationship with Him. I also ask Him to break my heart over anything that breaks His heart. Since He never broke my heart over you, I am convinced that He chose you for me.
I am sending you this letter so that it will always be there, something you can return to whenever you need to remind yourself of what was in my heart before we got married.
We’ve all heard the marriage vows: “For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health.” Those are more than just beautiful words to me. They are promises I intend to live by.
One of my favourite quotes says, “When you want to make something happen, you find ways; you don’t find excuses.”
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I promise you that I will always look for ways to make this marriage work. I will do everything within my power to make our home successful, peaceful, and full of love.
I love you, Abigail, and I cannot wait to walk down the aisle with you on the 15th of August 2026, exactly eleven months after you said “Yes” to me.
Thank you for choosing me.
I promise to keep choosing you too.
—Joe
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