A woman has apologised for being jugemental towards single mothers as she reveals how she became a single mother.
Princess Janet, whose bio says she’s a relationship coach, revealed she shamed single mothers for years and even objected when her brother introduced the person he wanted to marry and she was a single mother.
She said she believed she could never be a single mother if she did the right things.
However, she said that despite doing everything right, her husband still left her and her children to be with a single mother.
She said that she’s now 32 years old and a single mother of four.
She added that the irony is not lost on her.
Sharing her story on Facebook, she wrote: ‘If there was an award for judging single mothers, I probably would have won it.
‘I was one of those women.
‘Whenever I saw a single mother, I always had an opinion.
‘”She probably couldn’t keep a man.”
‘”She must have been promiscuous.”
‘”If she had made better choices, she wouldn’t be raising children alone.”
‘I would shake my head and quietly thank God that it could never be me.
‘I believed I had figured life out.
‘I believed if a woman stayed a virgin until marriage, married the right way, respected her husband, prayed enough, submitted enough, and endured enough, she was guaranteed a happy ending.
‘Then my brother introduced us to the woman he wanted to marry.
‘She was a single mother of two.
‘I didn’t even try to get to know her.
‘In my mind, I had already decided who she was.
‘I questioned her character.
‘I questioned her intentions.
‘I made sure she knew she wasn’t good enough for my brother.
‘I wasn’t alone either. Some family members joined in, but I was one of the loudest voices against that relationship.
‘Looking back today, I wish I could apologize to her.
‘Because life has a way of humbling people who think they know everything.
‘Today, I am 32 years old.
‘And I am a single mother of four. Yes… Me.
‘The woman who once said, “It can never be me.”
‘It happened to me.
‘I did everything people told me to do.
‘I kept my virginity until marriage because I believed purity would protect me.
‘I married before having children because I believed that was the right order.
‘When my husband started cheating, I stayed.
‘Not because I enjoyed the pain.
‘Because everyone kept saying, “Fight for your marriage.”
‘So I fought. I prayed. I fasted. I forgave. I submitted. I respected him. I became smaller and smaller just to make room for his ego.
‘When he abused me emotionally, I endured.
‘When he abused me verbally, I remained silent.
‘When he cheated over and over again, I convinced myself that a good wife keeps her home together.
‘I didn’t complain.
‘I didn’t expose him.
‘I kept hoping that if I became an even better wife, he would finally become the husband I had been praying for.
‘He never did.
‘One day, he walked away.
‘He left me with our four children.
‘Just like that.
‘Years of sacrifice.
‘Years of prayers.
‘Years of pretending everything was fine.
‘None of it stopped him from leaving.
‘But here’s the part that still leaves me speechless.
‘Do you know who he left me for?
‘A single mother of two.
‘The very type of woman I had spent years looking down on.
‘The irony was almost too much to bear.
‘Life forced me to become the very woman I had judged.
‘It taught me something I wish I had learned much earlier.
‘Being a single mother is not a character flaw.
‘It is not proof that a woman is immoral.
‘It is not evidence that she failed.
‘Sometimes it simply means she loved someone who failed her.
‘Sometimes it means she stayed longer than she should have because she was trying to save her family.
‘Sometimes it means she chose peace over pretending.
‘Sometimes it means life happened in ways no one could have predicted.
‘I used to think marriage was a reward for good behavior.
‘Now I know better.
‘Good women get divorced.
‘Faithful women get abandoned.
‘Prayerful women get cheated on.
‘Kind women become single mothers.
‘Life doesn’t always reward people the way we expect.
‘If there’s one thing this journey has taught me, it’s to be careful how you judge people.
‘Because the very situation you mock today may become the testimony you never wanted tomorrow.
‘These days, when I see a single mother, I don’t ask myself, “What did she do wrong?”
‘I ask, “What has she survived?”
‘Because now I know.
‘Sometimes the strongest women are the ones raising children alone after giving everything they had to save a marriage that only one person was fighting for.’
