This weekend, I attended the wedding of my best friend. Eunice wanted me to be her maid of honour, but I respectfully declined. She was mad at me for days. She didn’t understand why her best friend for years would decline to be by her side on her most important day.
I didn’t feel the honour in being the maid of honour at a marriage I didn’t believe should happen. I will explain. It makes me feel like a devil, but I also feel I had no right to destroy my best friend’s relationship.
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She started dating her husband when he was abroad. She talked about him fondly and how she couldn’t wait for him to return to Ghana. She showed me pictures of him, and not a single day passed without her mentioning Evans.
“You can’t believe what Evans said.”
Or, “Evans said I should do it.”
Or, “Evans won’t be happy if he hears this.”
What Evans told her was final. She would seek my opinion, but once Evans contradicted it, she went with what Evans said. It was normal. Two people in love respect each other’s opinions, and that’s natural.
Evans came to Ghana after they had been in a long-distance relationship for almost two years. The night before his return, Eunice didn’t sleep. She was edgy. She was happy. She was everything a child who had been promised candy would be. She met him at the airport, and I was the first to receive their pictures together.
I said their love was beautiful. I told her she made love look like the coolest thing on earth. She was so deeply in love, and it was obvious.
A week after Evans came to Ghana, Eunice took me to meet him. It was ordinary. We shook hands. He thanked me for keeping his wife safe. He told me he had heard a lot about me. We went out that evening and had a blast. When we were leaving, he told me he had bought something for me, so I should come again for it.
Eunice took me to visit him again, and he gave me this beautiful makeup kit that had everything I’d prayed to have. I thanked him and also thanked Eunice for making it possible. After that day, I took a back seat so they could have moments together without me interfering.
One afternoon, I had a call from Evans. I wondered how he got my number, but I never asked. He said he hadn’t seen me in a long while and hoped everything was fine. We talked for a few seconds, and before the call ended, he told me I shouldn’t tell my friend that he had called me.
I asked why, and he said, “I’m going to surprise her through you. So keep it on the low.”
I believed him and played along, but a week later, after calling me almost every day, the surprise wasn’t coming. I asked about it, and he said he was checking to see if he could trust me not to tell.
Then he called me to meet him somewhere. I knew it was all part of the surprise package. I got there, and this guy started being touchy and mischievous. He said he had been observing me from afar and that I made him feel he had made a mistake by choosing my friend instead of me.
I was stunned. I looked at the label on the bottle he was drinking from to see if it contained a mixture of alcohol and weed because this could only come from someone who was high. He kept reaching for my hands, trying to talk while looking into my eyes. I told him I was getting uncomfortable and left.
Maybe I should have told Eunice that day. I should have told her what her boyfriend had done. But the question I asked myself was, Do you want to destroy her relationship when she’s so happy?
So I didn’t mention it to her. Instead, I decided to avoid him at every turn.
The very person I was trying to avoid was innocently brought to my house by Eunice. She said they were passing by and decided to stop in to say hello. That’s how Evans got to know where I lived and started visiting.
I’d blocked his number, but he came to my place just to beg me to accept his proposal and date him. He was acting crazy. When I said he was getting mad, he said he was already mad for me.
I threatened to tell Eunice. He gave me his phone and said, “Call her and tell her everything. That will even make things easier.”
All this while, they were planning their wedding. Herrh, some men can be evil.
I was even scared he was going to destroy my friendship with Eunice. A woman in love can lose her logic. If push came to shove, she might choose Evans even when the truth was on my side.
I was careful. I even recorded one of our exchanges when he came to my house uninvited. I was sacking him, and this guy was begging me to help him avoid making the mistake of marrying my friend. I was mortified.
After all this, he would take Eunice around and introduce her as the love of his life.
One day, when he called with another number trying to be naughty, I told him I’d recorded him. He said he didn’t care. He went ahead and said even more incriminating things and dared me to share the recording.
I patiently and painfully bore it all without making Eunice aware. It was the reason I declined being the maid of honour.
Even a day before their wedding, he told me, “So you’re just going to watch me commit this huge mistake? Just say yes today and everything will change.”
I called him mad and told him I was sad for my friend for loving a monster like him.
They got married this weekend. I was there. She was very happy, but knowing what I knew, I couldn’t even smile. I was so distant that I felt Eunice probably thought I was jealous of her wedding.
Right after the wedding, I went home and cried. I didn’t attend the reception. I felt like I’d lied to my best friend. I’d stood by while she walked into a ditch I knew was there.
She called me while the wedding was still going on. I didn’t pick up. She texted: “Babe, you’re acting weird. Why are you not here? Is there something you’re not telling me?” I texted back, “I’ve been sick and hiding it from you. When all is said and done, we’ll talk. Just be happy.”
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They are on their honeymoon. She sends photos of their happiness. Her innocence is so beautiful, and I’m glad I didn’t destroy it. But what I’m not happy about is the future of what she’s entered.
I feel I didn’t help my friend make a good decision. I feel I’ve betrayed her. But then again, if I had told her, do you think she would have listened to me? I feel bad every day, and I pray I was the one Evans was lying to and that his love for my friend is genuine. Only time will tell.
—Barbie
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