After four years of dating, my boyfriend finally came to pay my bride price. That day, I felt like the happiest woman on earth. I thanked him for honoring me. I thanked God for giving me what I had prayed for, without even expecting it, for so many years.
I have been sponsoring my boyfriend for a very long time now. When he was running out of money, I gave him some. When his businesses failed over and over, I was there, ready to help. I would go to his house to wash and cook. Most times, I used my own money to buy everything he needed to restock that house.
Then one day, his father collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. The doctors said he was suffering from kidney failure. I was there, by his side at the hospital. When I couldn’t visit, I sent money.
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When things finally started looking up financially and it was time for us to settle down, everything changed. He became hesitant. Deep down, I could feel he no longer wanted to marry me. But he still went ahead and collected my bride list. He was the first man to officially come to my family. That gave me hope that we were still moving forward.
Months ago, my boyfriend secured a contract outside Ghana. Now he is telling my safe that he doesn’t think we are compatible. The way he said it proves he had been nursing that thought for a long time and just couldn’t say it.
One of his female friends really doesn’t like me. We had countless arguments because of it. I wanted to understand why, what I did to her. But we would circle the conversation and end up nowhere. When his father passed away, during the funeral, this same friend was there giving me attitude and being very disrespectful toward me. Instead of asking her what was wrong or trying to understand the situation, he just pointed fingers at me. He said I was the troublesome one, that I had done something wrong to her.
I don’t really care that he left. What hurts are the years I invested, the sacrifices I made, and the dreams I built around someone who already knew he wasn’t going to stay. I’m more disappointed in myself for ignoring my instincts and holding on for so long.
I’m 30 now. At this point, I have no desire to be in another relationship. I’m simply existing, with no excitement or hope of opening my heart again. Maybe time will heal me, but for now, this is where I am.
Some lessons truly are learned the hard way. I never thought I would one day share my story here, but this is what it is. It wasn’t one particular thing. It was just a constant feeling that he was pretending because he needed financial support. I was the girl he was fishing money from.
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This is a man who, whenever we talked about marriage, would start stuttering. I thought it was because he didn’t have the money, that he was scared. It turns out he had no plans to marry me at all. But why string me along for four years? He could have at least done it for two years max and left me alone. Four years is too much time to string someone along and hurt me this way.