I was 29 and my boyfriend was 34. We dated for three years and were set to marry in the fourth year after an agreement that I would complete the university before we took the big step.
The first two years were very sweet. He was everything I wanted in a man. After the second year, problems started coming up. Most of them weren’t big issues but they were coming from him.
I had come out of a terrible relationship before meeting him, but he assured me that he would not repeat the mistakes my ex did to me. And true to his words, he did not.
This is a guy who cared for me wholeheartedly. He provided my every need and even paid my fees. He was always emotionally available for me. If I say he was everything a woman wanted in a man, then you should know what I mean.
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Things started to change when my ex contacted me one time. We started talking frequently, reminiscing about the old times where he was my world and my life revolved around him. It evoked feelings that I thought were long lost and gone. I knew it would bring trouble to the relationship I was in, so what I would do is delete every chat and phone log. My boyfriend and I had access to each other’s phones.
I was caught one day, months after hiding under the clouds. And that was where our relationship took a nosedive.
My boyfriend was going to break up with me if I didn’t tell him why I was engaging my ex on the side when I knew that he didn’t like it. I mean, what at all did he want to hear other than I didn’t really get over my ex? But I was able to come up with some reasons. He said it was not tangible to keep engaging my ex. At least I tried. He forgave me with the promise from my end that I was not going to reach out to my ex again. But then I turned to another man who came on my case. He was giving me the butterflies that were slowly dying in the relationship with my boyfriend. I left the evidence open in the air, so this time again when he found out about it, I didn’t even fight for us.
I didn’t really care about the breakup this time around because I knew the relationship had died. I didn’t feel the spark anymore. I had a lot of men in my DM keeping me company so I didn’t really feel the impact of the breakup. I thought it was going to be easy to replace him because some of the guys had qualities that my boyfriend lacked.
He came back four months later, saying that he still wanted me back regardless and was willing to forget the trouble we were having. Again, my inbox was full of men who were promising heaven and earth, so I didn’t give a hoot about it. He persuaded me for six more months, but I still didn’t budge. That was the last time I heard from him. By then I was missing the attention he was giving me, so to pass time away I decided to start a relationship with one of the guys I was talking to.
Three years down the line, I am 35 now and am ready to settle down. But all four men I dated after my ex-boyfriend didn’t come close to how he treated me. Every single one of them was after the body, the sex, and the food. When you start to talk about marriage, they turn deaf, dumb and flee the scene.
Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?
I met my ex at the mall recently, and he is now married to a very beautiful woman and now has a beautiful set of twins. I couldn’t even keep my smile when I got introduced to his beautiful wife, a very, very beautiful woman. I wonder how he got her. My advice to young ladies out there is that we shouldn’t lose focus of what we have with the mindset that there are plenty of fishes in the sea, especially if you have a good man.
—Beatrice
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