A few years ago, while on campus, I met a lady through a friend. We started as friends, and we were supposed to stay that way until feelings began to grow. Feelings don’t usually ask for permission, so when I started wanting more, I told her.
If she had thrown a glass of water in my face instead of rejecting me, it would have felt better. She bluntly told me no. “I am not ready for a relationship,” she said. I asked when she would be, and we never spoke after that.
After someone rejects your proposal, it gets weird to talk to them or even be in the same space. That is exactly what happened to us. Our friendship faded away like it never existed. However, fate brought us back together, gave me the answers I needed, and placed me in a deep dilemma.
When I eventually asked why she had turned me down, she answered, “You don’t look serious with your life.” That one pained me. I was certain I was slowly doing great things, so her response shocked me. But because I liked her, I overlooked the comment and asked to try again.
“Forget about it, and let’s take it from where we left off.”
We were on a call when I heard a baby crying in the background. That was how I found out she had a three-month-old child
“The first time you asked me out, I was already pregnant; that’s why I didn’t accept,” she explained. I asked why she hadn’t told me then. “It’s not an award to announce that my boyfriend and I broke up, got back together, he got me pregnant, and has since gone missing.”
I’ve known heartbreak before. I’ve been on the receiving end of it, more than once. As an empath, instead of gloating at her downfall, I empathized with her. Some days, I stayed on the call and prayed with her for strength; other days, I was her therapist.
Some months later, and we can now joyfully say she is now beam of happiness in my life again. We have talked about it, and she is willing to marry me.
The problem is, I’m not sure about it myself. I have always had reservations about dating or marrying a single mother. Am I being a fool? What if she hasn’t really moved on from her child’s father? What if they reconcile? What if she is taking me for a ride and leaves? I’m not sure if she has romantic feelings for me or if she wants to be with me out of desperation. I don’t know what to do.