We were in a long distance relationship, a very long one, and we had never seen each other since we started getting to know each other. Then one day we decided to finally meet, at my place, and the plan was in motion until he showed up in my neighbourhood one Friday evening with plans to leave on Tuesday.
I stocked the house with all kinds of groceries, all sorts of items. On Saturday, he wanted fufu and abenkwan, but I didn’t have cassava or plaintain, so we went to the market together to buy what we needed for the meal and he made me pay. He stood behind me as I paid with cash and momo, and when one seller didn’t want to take momo, he was still behind me when I went to withdraw the money.
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The Sunday of his visit was Mother’s Day, and that Sunday he suggested taking me out, you know, as per future mother of his children. At the restaurant, we danced and sang and talked so much and ate and ate till my belly button was aching me, and he said his cheeks were aching from all the smiling and blushing I was causing him.
All that vanished when it was time to pay the bill. Suddenly, his boss needed him to convert a Word document to PDF, and he was having trouble doing it in the restaurant because the network wasn’t good, so he went outside. Forty minutes later, after the bill had arrived, the man was done converting PDFs and replying to emails, so I paid the bill. In fact, he was the one who told me to pay. He seriously told me, “My secretary will send me the money but the network is acting up so just relax small.”
We drove home in silence, and the driver was probably wondering what on earth had happened between the two of us after we’d just spent hours laughing and having such a good time at that nice restaurant. He left that same evening, claiming there was an emergency at work that needed his immediate attention, and the moment he stepped out and closed my door behind him, I deleted his number, sat down, and properly thought about what had just happened and what the way forward should be.
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Three days after that embarrassing incident was his birthday. He texted me that evening asking why I hadn’t sent him a gift, saying, “If nothing else, you could at least send me a gift.” I went hmmm and tapped the block button. He had done this thing before, telling me to go watch a movie and that he would pay, so I went to the cinema all dressed up only for him to tell me his momo had been blocked by MTN and I had to pay for myself.
Four years of being celibate and I met this mess. After four years of celibacy, only to end up being romanced by a man whose greatest love language was spending someone else’s money. The shame would have reached my great-grandparents. I am so glad I was that stingy with my body
—Arie
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