My younger sister called one late night and asked for a loan. She wanted GHC10,000. When she mentioned the amount, I trembled. I thought she was in trouble and needed that money to resolve it. Her voice was low, and her energy didn’t sit right. I probed, “What do you need that for? That’s a lot of money.”
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She answered, “I know it’s a lot, but I’m going to pay it back in two months.” She said it was for a business she wanted to start and that the person getting her the stock to sell was in China and was asking for that amount. I loved my sister so much. She was the only one left with my parents, and at her age, we were all praying for her to get a proper job that would take her away from home.
I sent the money to her in two installments. I sent GHC5,000 first and, a week later, sent another GHC5,000.
The next day after I’d sent the last installment, my mom called to tell me my younger sister was getting married. I said, “Seriously? I talked to her this morning, but she didn’t tell me. Since when has she been planning this?”
My mom said the man had come home not long ago to see them for the marriage list but came back a few days later to say they were getting married the following month. I called my sister. The first question I asked was who the man was and what he did for a living. She said the man had returned from abroad two years earlier after living there for ten years. He had established businesses, and she had known him for a year.
I asked her if she was ready for marriage, and she laughed. “But, Sis, you know I’m not a child,” she said.
I answered, “Yeah, I know, but you don’t have a proper job. You just took money from me to start a business. Why don’t you get something going first before thinking about marriage? You’re only twenty-five. Life is not passing you by.”
She told me the man was ready to help with her business and that the business was actually the man’s idea. I wished her well and congratulated her on the milestone.
The next thing I heard was that my younger sister had told my parents and my elder brother that I said she didn’t have a job, so she shouldn’t get married. She painted the picture as though I was jealous because I wasn’t married. My mom told me I had gone too far with my advice. My dad told me the God who had done it for my sister would also do it for me, so I should pray hard.
Just a little over a month later, my younger sister got married. I saw the man for the first time during the wedding. I thought he was too old to be marrying my sister, but who was I to say anything? The wedding went well. The reception was also beautiful. The next day, I traveled back to Accra to continue living my life. I saw the rest of the wedding through photos and videos on both WhatsApp and Facebook.
My sister wrote a long Thanksgiving list, mentioning the names of everyone who had contributed to making her wedding a success. Everyone I knew was on the list, but my name was missing. It was so obvious that I couldn’t miss it, but I didn’t complain.
The two months she had promised to repay my money came and went, but I didn’t call to ask for it. Three months, then four months passed, and she still hadn’t said anything about it. So I called to ask, and she started singing like a canary. “Oh, just give me a week. Even my husband is worried that I haven’t paid you. Give me a few days.”
A few days became another two months. I called again. This time, I needed my money to pay my rent, so I wasn’t calm about it. Again, she promised to pay within a week’s time. Weeks came and went, but my money didn’t come with them.
The next time we had a serious conversation about it, she had kept my money for eight months, and I wasn’t going to wait any longer. So I went home to get my money. I summoned her in front of my parents to explain.
I said, “She told me she was using the money for a business, but eight months later, there’s no business, only a marriage. Does that mean you used my money to get married?”
My dad spoke. He said, “Don’t bring her marriage into the discussion. That won’t pay the money.”
My mom also questioned why I wouldn’t concentrate on the money instead of bringing her marriage into it.
So I said, “Fine. Where’s my money? I hope I get it before I leave here because I need it urgently.”
My sister sat there while my parents did the talking for her. My dad asked when she intended to pay, and my sister responded angrily, “It’s not as if I don’t want to pay. What’s GHC10,000 that she has to make all this noise about it? We are expecting a container this week. Once the container arrives and we sell what’s in it, I’ll pay. She should just give me a month. I’ll pay and even add interest.”
A year later, I still hadn’t received my money.
This time around, anyone who came to say anything didn’t have it easy with me. I was like a hot iron. Touch it, and you get burned. I went back home again with fire in my eyes. She didn’t come to the meeting and wouldn’t answer my calls.
My mom said, “Adwoa, why don’t you let this money go? Do you still believe your sister can pay you back when she has nothing going for her?”
My dad added, “I’ve been meaning to address this. If you’re not careful, you’ll allow this money to break the two of you apart. Your sister is already suffering. You’ll either let the money go and never talk about it again, or you’ll let it put the two of you asunder.”
Unbeknownst to me, my sister had given that money to her husband as a loan to clear a container at the port. That container never arrived, and her husband said he was following up on it. He traveled a few weeks after their marriage and hadn’t returned, so all this while, things hadn’t been well with my sister.
I told my parents, “I’m ready to let this money break us apart. If I have to make it a police case, I will. She’ll pay.”
My brother called. He said the same thing, that I should let the money go. I told him, “You guys should stop talking trash. I should let it go and do what? If you love her too much, why don’t you all come together and pay me yourselves? I’m not letting this go today or tomorrow.”
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My sister still owes me after almost two years. Would you let this go if you were in my shoes?
Only God knows how I’ve been able to survive until now without that money. When I say I need my money, it’s not out of anger or malice. It’s out of necessity. I need that money back in my account.
What do I do?
—Adwoa
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