I have been married for less than three months. My husband and I dated for just a year before we got married. Our wedding was simple, with only a small gathering of family and friends. After the ceremony, we travelled to sign the marriage papers at the courthouse and then moved in together to start our life as husband and wife.
Less than three months into the marriage, I have discovered that I am sharing my husband with another woman.
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I never imagined, even for a moment, that I would be saying those words this early in my marriage.
He tells me he is travelling to another region for work, but I have now discovered that he books hotel rooms so he can spend time with the woman he is cheating with. Afterwards, he comes home and complains to me whenever she gives him an attitude. He talks about her as though I am his friend instead of his wife.
Not long ago, the woman stopped answering his calls. Right in front of my eyes, I watched him become so restless that he kept walking in and out of the house, talking to himself about how he wanted to send her money but couldn’t understand why she was refusing to answer him. I sat quietly in the living room and listened to everything. The next day, he was supposed to travel for work.
This same husband of mine has been complaining that he has no money because he recently changed jobs. He says he is struggling financially and cannot even provide the basic things we need in our home, yet he is worried about sending money to another woman. There are even signs that suggest there are more side chicks.
As I write this, I am heavily pregnant. I am stressed, emotionally drained, and depressed. I have come to believe that my husband is a narcissist who constantly gaslights me. He has no idea that I know about the cheating because I have chosen to remain silent. I have not confronted him, but deep down, I already know I want to leave this marriage.
When we were dating, he was kind, calm, patient, and attentive. He listened to me and did his best to provide for me. Before we got married, I noticed one or two things that made me uncomfortable, and I spoke to him about them. I even discussed some of my concerns with members of his family before the wedding. But then again, who is perfect?
He is now a driver, and with everything he is putting me through, I honestly cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with him. If I had known this was what marriage with him would look like, I would have called off the wedding.
I am scared that if I stay, I will lose myself. I fear that one day I might break down, lose my mind, or even harm myself because of the constant depression, the lies, the gaslighting, the lack of love, the absence of care, and the complete lack of empathy from the man who is supposed to be my husband.
I try not to think about what society will say if I leave, or what people will think about my child or about divorce. Right now, my safety and the safety of my unborn baby matter more than people’s opinions. I no longer trust my husband enough to entrust my life or my child’s life to him.
Words cannot fully describe how I feel.
For a long time, I had been suspicious. Women kept calling his phone, often late at night. Their names would appear on the screen. Sometimes he would answer the calls in front of me, and sometimes he would ignore them, only to return the calls later when he had left the house or when I was no longer with him.
One day, while I was lying beside him, he called another woman just to check on her. Later that same night, she repeatedly called him back after midnight. That was the moment I decided to go through his phone.
What I found confirmed every fear I had.
My husband is cheating on me.
Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?
I honestly do not know where to begin rebuilding my life from here. Is it too early to leave? How?
— Mirabel
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