Around the time my husband and I separated over irreconcilable differences, I met a man on TikTok. I opened his chat because he was constantly texting me, and I decided to give him a listening ear, just to see what he had to say. We started talking almost every day, and I needed that. I was coming from one hell of a punishment I called marriage, and he gave me companionship. It created a nest of attachment between the two of us.
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A few months later, he said he liked me. I may have liked him too, but I was separated and not fully ready for anything serious. I wasn’t even sure about dating anyone. I didn’t say no, I didn’t say yes. I didn’t say yes and I didn’t say no either. I was always teasing him until he got the memo and went his way. I didn’t mind because I knew I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and in some way, he also didn’t put in much effort. There is an effort a man puts in, he wrestles for your love when he yearns for you. He didn’t. So when he left, I didn’t feel a thing.
Recently, my dad died, and the world of fate chose to circle his news and bring him back into my life. He was part of and immersed in planning my dad’s funeral. Everything I needed to make it a success, as long as it was in his power, he ensured that I got it. Physically, emotionally, and most importantly, he showed up financially.
Because of that, we decided to finally meet for the first time, and it happened to be on my birthday.
He took me to a nice place and made sure I enjoyed myself. We left around 3am, and I was really drunk. The clouds were too heavy in my head, it felt like the ground would open for me to enter. He offered to drop me off.He offered to drop me off. Then he dropped the bombshell that he was a married man and said, “Because of that I couldn’t take you home, I’d love to.”
At that moment, it felt like the spirit of drunkenness vanished and packed itself out of my body. First, it was that he was married. I chose to ignore that part. Then it was that he refused to drop me off. I wasn’t even ready to show him where I lived yet. I stay in a new area, and honestly, I was a bit scared because it was late.
So I told him to either take me to a hotel or drop me at a friend’s place in town.
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What Nobody Tells You About Divorce
Since that night, he has not spoken to me or replied to my messages. Dozens of them. He hasn’t even opened them. I really like him, and I just wanted to be sure of him, but now it feels like I’m losing him.
Is there anything I can do to get him back under my yearning like he was at first?
What did I do wrong to deserve this?
—Bridget
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