If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.
I think I made a huge mistake marrying the calm, collected man. I really think I did. My husband has never been talkative. He is an extreme introvert, and I knew that long before we got married. In fact, it was one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He was calm, gentle, and everything my father was not. During our courtship, although conversations did not come naturally to him, I saw him making an effort. I believed that effort would grow with time.
We have been married for twelve years, yet there is no communication, no affection, and no friendship between us. He calls only once in the evening, and the conversation rarely lasts more than a few minutes. It feels like he is reading from a script.
“How are you?
How are the children?
Everything okay?
I’ll call you later.”
That is all. He still lives in the Eastern Region, while I live in the Central Region. It is not a great distance, yet he comes home only once a month, and sometimes even longer than that. When he does come home, he spends the entire weekend with a permanent frown on his face. If he is not watching television, he is buried in his phone. He stays in the living room until almost midnight, and when he finally comes to bed after I have fallen asleep, he wakes me by tapping my thighs. His trousers are already down, expecting me to remove mine. That has become our marriage.
There is no emotional connection anymore, and I am exhausted. I have reached the point where I want to leave, but before I make that decision, I wanted to give him one final opportunity to tell me what is wrong. If he cannot even do that, then I will leave knowing that I truly tried. I sent him a long message.
Dearest Husband,
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about life, both its troubles and its joys.
Life is fleeting, and lately it has become even scarier. My mental health has not been in the right place, and although I am fighting to stay strong, I know what depression feels like because I have been there before. I promised myself I would never return to that place. For years, all I have wanted was to be part of your life and for you to be part of mine. That has never happened, and instead of growing closer, we have only grown further apart. I have been honest with you about how neglected, lonely, unappreciated, and unloved I feel. I know you have your own struggles, and I am not dismissing them, but you have chosen to keep me outside your world, and that hurts more than I can explain.
FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX
We are both working hard to build a better future, and I admire that. I want us to succeed. I want us to have financial freedom, drive beautiful cars, and give our children the best life we possibly can. I know you are working towards that, just as I am.
But while we are chasing tomorrow, why are we sacrificing today? I want to call my husband when something makes me laugh or when something breaks my heart. I want us to create memories that make us smile years from now. Sometimes I ask myself a painful question. If tomorrow never comes for either of us, what would I honestly say was the happiest memory of our marriage?
I have searched my heart, and I cannot think of one. That thought terrifies me. I am sure you are wondering why I am sending this message.
The answer is simple. I am dying inside. I do not know when the wealth we are pursuing will finally come, but I do know that I do not want to grow old, or leave this world, without ever knowing what a healthy and loving marriage feels like. More than anything, I want to be happy, and I am willing to do everything within my power to make that happen.
All I ask from you is this. Tell me about your struggles. Open your heart to me emotionally. Tell me if I have hurt you in ways I do not know, and if that is what has made it difficult for you to love me. Most importantly, tell me honestly whether you still want to do this life with me.
Please read this without anger or prejudice, because this may be the last time I ask you to fight for our marriage.
Your wife,
Signed
Before anyone says, “You knew he was an introvert,” yes, I did. I married him knowing he was quiet. But I also know the man I dated. He could spend a long time talking on the phone with me. He blended so well with my brothers whenever he came to our home, and I watched him grow more comfortable around people.
I have spent years trying to meet him halfway. I lowered my expectations, accepted his quiet nature, and stopped asking for grand romantic gestures. All I want was conversation, companionship, laughter, and the feeling that I was married to my best friend.
I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone
Instead, I feel like I am living with someone who only remembers I exist when he calls to ask about the children or comes home for sex. For the first time in twelve years, I genuinely think we might be happier going our separate ways while peacefully raising our children together. He is still a great provider, but maybe money isn’t everything after all.
So I want to ask those who have read the message. Was my message unfair or too harsh?
Is my husband simply being an introvert, or has this gone beyond personality into emotional neglect? If you were in my position, what would you do next?
—Jessica
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB<>
