When my wife found out years ago that a piece of land I bought didn’t include her name on the deed, she got very, very angry. She kept saying that if I ever wanted her support on any future project, her name had to be included. It brought a lot of confusion into our marriage, something we really had to work hard to solve.
In 2023, my wife also bought a piece of land in a very good location. One day, she suggested that we move all the moulded blocks from my land to hers and start building there instead, because it was a good place to start a family home. I didn’t argue or hesitate. I had already sensed that not including her name on my property bothered her deeply. So I agreed, just to restore peace in our marriage.
We now have two children, and in February 2024, we finally started a building project on her land.
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From day one, I was the one supervising the entire project. I was always at the site, making sure the work was done properly, finding the right masons and artisans, and making decisions whenever they needed to be made. It became our project, so I gave it everything I had.
My mother in law also supported us. She brought us a truckload of sand, a truckload of stone chippings, and 20 cubic metres of quarry dust. She said it was her widow’s mite towards the project, but it was more than that. She proved that she really cared for our wellbeing. Thanking her on the phone was not enough, so I even travelled to see her to show my appreciation in person.
By December last year, we realised we needed more money to finish the roofing. My wife and I decided to take a loan together. Before then, we had already saved a little over GH¢22,000, which we used to buy the timber and complete the woodwork.
A couple of months after that, I received a summons from my mother in law. She said she had something important to tell both of us. So we went to see her. That is where the problem begins. She looked me straight in the eyes and said, to me, calculate everything you have spent on the building, let me pay you back, and I will take control of the project.
I was stunned. “Why?” I asked. “Why are you bringing this up now, when we are almost done?” What is left now is just the glass windows, tiles, and WCs.
I left that meeting more confused than when I walked in. Through all the back and forth, my wife did not utter a single word questioning her mother or backing me and the request she was making.
Here is where we stand with the loan. We both contribute to repaying it. I pay GHC 1,000 every month, and she pays GHC 1,184. The total monthly payment is GHC 2,184, and the loan will run for 60 months, which is five years. So far, we have paid for three months. The reason she pays a little more is that I already shoulder most of the other household expenses: feeding, rent, utilities, school fees for the children, and so on.
Money aside, I have also invested my time, energy and effort into this house. I supervised the entire project because we were building our family home together.
Now I am being asked to calculate everything I have contributed.
How do I even begin to do that? I did not keep records. How am I supposed to accurately calculate it? How do I put a price on the countless hours I spent at the site? How do I calculate the labour, the stress, the sacrifices, and the emotional investment?
And here is what my mother in law added. She wants to complete the house “for her grandchildren.” When it is done, my wife and I can go and live there, but the property will belong to my two children.
That is the position I rejected outright.
I suspect my wife has another plan that she is not telling me about. Maybe she is already thinking about divorce, and I just do not know it yet. If the property officially belongs to the children, who are only seven and four years old, then it becomes very easy for me to be pushed out of the house in the future.
I asked my mother in law why she wanted to pay me off if the house was really for my children. After all, they are my biological children too. Between me and my wife, and my mother in law, who should naturally be the ones building an inheritance for our children? Should it not be their own parents rather than their grandmother?
My mother in law is still pushing. My wife remains very quiet about the matter. I honestly feel she is playing the devil’s advocate. I do not think she is being truthful with me. I believe she is the one behind her mother’s demands.
But here is the thing. I do not want a fight. We are still married. We have two young children. We still live under the same roof.
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What I need is wise counsel on how to navigate these difficult moments. I need to understand what the law says, especially since the land is in my wife’s name alone, even though it was acquired during our marriage and we have both contributed money, labour, and time to developing it. Do I have any legal protection, or do I have no case at all?
Please, help a brother.
—Joel
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