Ben and I were doing our wedding shopping one afternoon when we bumped into an old friend, Yofi. He saw me first, called my name, and the moment I realised who he was, I ran to hug him. Before Yofi could say anything, I pulled Ben into the conversation so he wouldn’t be left out. I shared the story of how I knew Yofi and how he disappeared right after school. I introduced Ben as my boyfriend and even mentioned our wedding, which was three months away.
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The two gentlemen shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. Yofi and I talked for a few seconds, exchanged contacts, and then went our separate ways. Ben asked a few questions about Yofi, and I answered happily.
We met in school. Not only that, but his house was a few blocks away from mine. In our village, their house was the only one that had pipe-borne water, so the whole neighbourhood went there to fetch water and paid for it. Because we were in school together, whenever I went there and Yofi was the one collecting the money, I got a few buckets for free.
Our mates called us lovers because of our closeness, but we were just kids being kids. Right after BECE, he travelled out of the country, and I didn’t see him again until I had also moved away from the village. When we met again, it had already been over twenty years. Childhood memories are usually innocent and carefree. That’s why we tend to bond over them even after so many years.
We continued with our shopping. That very day, we bought our wedding rings. A few days later, Yofi texted me. He asked where we lived and later asked if we could meet again. For old times’ sake, and because our last meeting had been so brief, I gladly agreed.
He picked me up from my office after work, and we found a random place to sit and reminisce about the past. While we were together, my boyfriend called. I told him, “Do you remember that friend we met a few days ago? He came to my office, so we’re sitting out here.”
While I was talking to him, Yofi kept shouting in the background, “Akonta, I’m greeting you ooo. I’m holding your wife here small.”
Ben heard him and responded too. So I put the phone on loudspeaker so the two of them could talk. Later, Ben told me to call him when I was going home.
When I was finally leaving Yofi, he reached into his car and handed me a polythene bag. I opened it, and it contained an iPhone, an Apple Watch, and two bottles of perfume. I screamed with excitement. I thanked him profusely, and he said he was sad he wasn’t going to be around for my wedding, but he was sure going to send his wedding gift.
I got home, had a bath, and then called Ben. I wanted to relax before telling him about the gift Yofi had given me. There was happiness and a smile in my voice when I said hello on the phone.
He said, “You’re only now leaving his place?”
His voice was cold and unwelcoming.
I asked, “Whose place?”
He screamed, “Don’t ask me silly questions. Who were you with when I called you?”
I explained that I wasn’t at his place. I gave him the name of where we had been and then told him about the gifts Yofi had given me. He wouldn’t listen. He still insisted I had been at Yofi’s place and that, out of guilt, I had intentionally asked him to shout in the background during the call.
“We are not kids,” I answered. “If we had something to hide, I wouldn’t have picked up your call in the first place.”
We argued on the phone for several minutes before he angrily hung up. He didn’t answer my calls again throughout the night. I texted to apologise for making him feel bad and even swore that if I had known he would feel that way, I wouldn’t have met Yofi in the first place. He didn’t reply to my messages either. So early the next morning, I went to his place.
I even took the gifts with me, thinking they would calm his emotions. Apparently, taking the gifts only added more fuel to the fire. He looked me deep in the eyes and said, “Return everything to him. Didn’t I buy you a phone when you needed one? Don’t you already have a watch? Or were you smelling bad the first time he met you? Is that why he gave you all these perfumes? Go and give everything back to him.”
I protested. He insisted. Looking at how angry he was, I told him I would return everything if that was what would bring him peace. He pushed me out of his room and shut the door in my face.
I didn’t return the gifts to Yofi immediately. I was hoping Ben’s anger would fade with time and that we would talk about it and be ourselves again. Every day when I called or texted, the first question he asked was, “Have you sent them back to him?”
When I said no, he hung up. I lied that Yofi had travelled to the village and that I would return everything when he came back.
“Until then, don’t call me or try to talk to me.”
It was very hard for me to return those items, especially when they had been freely given without any conditions attached. But the health of my relationship was also very important, so I decided to return them.
I called Yofi and explained everything to him. He felt so bad that I could almost touch his emotions. He said, “It’s fine. Just give everything away to whoever you want. I understand.”
I gave the phone and Apple Watch to my brother to sell and gave the perfumes away. I called Ben to tell him.
He said, “Do you think I’m a fool? Or a baby you can play with? Where’s the evidence that you’ve returned them?”
I said, “I can give you Yofi’s number so you can talk to him. That’s the only evidence I have.”
He asked me to provide screenshots of our conversations. When I told him we had only spoken in person, he said, “I’m coming to your place. You’ll call him and talk about it on speakerphone so I can be sure you’ve returned everything. But remember, you’ll also tell him I’m not happy about his presence in your life, so he should stay away from you.”
I responded softly and calmly, “I won’t do such a thing. If it’s that important to you, tell him yourself as the man that you are.”
Then I ended the call.
He called me a liar for several days. He even threatened that our wedding wouldn’t happen until he saw evidence. Every time he questioned my integrity, a little part of me broke away until there was nothing left. I told him I was no longer interested in the marriage, so he should keep everything we had bought and marry a woman he could trust.
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“So be it,” he said.
So why is he here now trying to play the victim to get me to continue with the wedding plans? Why is he now using my parents to get me to change my mind when he was the one who said, “So be it”?
These events have opened my eyes wide to see who he really is, and I dread saying “I do” to such a person. I’m not doing it. Ati m’ɛni so. It will take a miracle.
—Joycelyn
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