Out of nowhere, I saw my fiancé walking with a white lady—an American. He told me he met her online. He wouldn’t give me any other details. From morning till evening, it was all about this white lady. She was around for over a week and later disappeared. A few days later, George also disappeared.
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I later learned through a text message that he was in Accra. I asked what had taken him to Accra, and again, he mentioned this white lady’s name. He was in Accra for over a week, came back, and then went to Accra again.
This was a man I’d been dating for over four years. A man who had come to see my family to perform the knocking rite, and we had even picked a date for our wedding. I was concerned that he was spending so much time with this white lady and wouldn’t give me many details.
When I pressed him for answers, he said it was business. He wouldn’t give details about the business. All he said was that I should be patient, watch him, and trust the process.
A part of me did trust him. If it was business, it meant money in dollars. Another part of me didn’t trust what he was saying. A man and a woman going around together like that would spark suspicion, no matter the colour of the woman involved.
I spoke to his elder brother, who had been friends with me long before I met George. He calmed me down and said he would talk to him and let me know what his brother said. I started becoming seriously suspicious when his elder brother kept telling me he hadn’t been able to speak to him and that I should give him more time.
One early morning, after spending the night with me, I locked the door and took the keys. I begged him to tell me the truth, or else I wouldn’t open the door to let him out. After a series of back-and-forth conversations, he finally told me the truth.
It wasn’t about business, as he had previously claimed. He said he was trying to travel abroad through the white lady.
“How?” I asked.
Then he mentioned marriage. All those times he was travelling to and from Accra, he was going there to complete a court marriage with the white lady.
“After everything, I would become an American citizen, and it would be very easy to bring you abroad to live with me.”
“So it means you’re sleeping with her? You’re cheating on me with her?”
He asked me to look at the bigger picture and understand him, but love was involved. How could we put our own life together on hold for him to live another life with another woman after four years of dating?
I decided to walk away from the relationship, but I couldn’t. Starting all over again with someone new scared me. I was twenty-nine. I wasn’t getting any younger, so I asked him to give me a timeline and swear that he would stick to it.
He looked me in the eyes, swore, and even said that if he was lying to me, may the gods take his life.
I was hurt, but I breathed deeply and told him to live his life. I was going to wait for him.
He got married to this white lady.
There were photos I couldn’t bear to look at. There were stories I couldn’t hear without a heartache. My friends asked questions. They wanted to know if we were still together and what had happened to our wedding plans. I bore all the questions in good faith, hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel very soon.
It’s been two years. George and this white lady are still in Ghana, living together on the outskirts of Accra with no intention of travelling.
From what I’m hearing, this is a woman who came to Ghana to settle and had been here for years before she met George. She had even married a Ghanaian before, and that marriage collapsed. So George is her second husband.
George would come back from Accra, sweet-talk me with dreams, sleep with me, and later return to her. I waited patiently for him to travel so we could kick-start our plans, but when he kept postponing things and eventually looked like he didn’t even know what was happening, I decided to take my life back and live it my own way.
I broke up with him and asked him to concentrate on his marriage until I saw signs that things had changed. He’s still in Ghana after two years. Even the woman hasn’t travelled abroad once, let alone him.
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He tells me I’ve placed a curse on his life, which is why he’s still here, but that it won’t be long before they leave the shores of Ghana. This woman has a school and other businesses in Ghana. What suggests she’ll be leaving anytime soon?
I was scared to start over, but now I don’t have a choice. I’ve put myself back into the dating pool. Hopefully, I find someone soon.
—Jacqueline
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