A mutual friend of my boyfriend and me recently warned me. He begged me to be very careful about my boyfriend.
“He is dating both of you. He has another girl apart from you, and he is studying both of you at the same time.”
According to him, my boyfriend wants to see who would make the better wife and the best mother to his future children.
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Apparently, if I fail to meet whatever standards he has set in his mind, he could walk away from me without thinking twice.
I wanted to confront my boyfriend immediately, but his friend, Richard, pleaded with me not to. He said if I did, my boyfriend would know he was the one who had spoken to me. Richard told me he did not want to carry the label of a snitch. He insisted he was only telling me because he felt I deserved to know the truth, or at least be careful. I appreciated his honesty, so I kept quiet.
The problem is that I do not know what to believe anymore.
My boyfriend is not the kind of man I ever imagined would do something like this. He is a solid man. He is a 32-year-old engineer who is ready to settle down. He lives in the same neighborhood as Richard, and because of the nature of his work, he travels for months at a time before coming back to see me.
Throughout our relationship, he has been generous to me. He checks on me, provides for me when he can, and we have shared conversations that have made me feel seen in ways I have not felt in a very long time. We would spend hours talking about life, our future, and even the smallest details of our day. He would send me long messages that I looked forward to reading. He always wanted to know what I thought before making certain decisions, and it made me feel like I actually mattered to him.
We were building something beautiful together. I saw a future with him. I saw a home. I saw marriage. I saw the kind of love people spend years searching for.
But all of that has come to an end.
There are no more long messages telling me about his day or asking for my opinion. I now have to beg just to get a few minutes to talk to him. Whenever I complain, he tells me it is business and life taking up all of his time, so he cannot spend much time with me.
“It is business. It is life. You should understand me.”
I have tried to understand him because I know his work is demanding. I know he spends months away because of his job. But after hearing what Richard told me, every excuse he gives suddenly sounds different.
I do not want to ask him about it because I know he would deny everything, even if it were true. At the same time, I cannot say I only believe Richard either. He has not shown me proof. So here I am, stuck between trusting the man I love and believing the friend who claims he is only trying to protect me.
As if that confusion is not enough, there is another issue weighing heavily on my heart.
He is a Jehovah’s Witness, and he wants me to become one too. I honestly have no problem with joining him because I love him, but there are certain beliefs and practices that I know I would struggle with. For example, they do not celebrate Christmas, and I grew up looking forward to those moments with my family.
At first, I did not have a problem with it. But when he became an elder, I started to worry.
I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone
According to him, if he wants to marry someone who is not a Witness, he would have to give up his position as an elder.
Since then, almost everyone I have spoken to has told me the same thing. They say he will eventually leave me and marry a fellow Witness, and that I should end the relationship before I waste years of my life dating him.
What do I do?
— Abby
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