He is my ex-boyfriend. He came into my DMs praising me for the courage I had to comment in a WhatsApp group we both belonged to. We became friends, and after a few months of constant texting and long phone calls, feelings naturally grew between us. So when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I didn’t turn him down.
Because of my work schedule, weekends were busy for me. It was mostly on my weekdays off that I had time to either host him or spend time with him. Most of the time, he would come over to my place, spend the day with me, and leave in the evening.
I couldn’t visit him; he said, “I’m living with my brother while saving to move out. Once I get my own place, then I can have you over. It would be rude of me to bring you into another man’s house.” I understood the circumstances, so I didn’t push.
FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX
I didn’t meet any of his friends except during one work function he took me to. Even there, he didn’t introduce me as his girlfriend, despite the fact that we had already been dating for two months. The only family member I met was his elder brother. Even then, if it wasn’t for the resemblance between them, I’m sure I would walk past him today without recognizing him.
Then one day, he broke up with me over something I still consider very ridiculous. He had come over to visit. After we finished eating, I decided to make sobolo, so I stepped outside to mix the ingredients. I gave him my phone password.
By the time I came back into the room, he had opened my WhatsApp and was reading old conversations between me and my ex. Those messages were from before I even met him. They had nothing to do with our relationship. But he treated those messages like they had happened yesterday. He ended the relationship.
I cried. I begged him to reconsider what we had because it was good, solid even. He didn’t care. Instead, he started posting silly memes on his WhatsApp status that were clearly meant to mock the breakup.
After that, he disappeared. But every once in a while, he would come back into my messages. “I miss you.” “I want you in my arms.”
Today, I am even a mother. Last November, he reached out again just to say he was checking up on me. Then this February, he called to wish me a happy birthday. Before ending the conversation, he asked if we could get back together.
That was when I told him I now have a child. I didn’t bother telling him the rest of the story; how difficult my pregnancy was or how much the drama with my baby’s father had taken a toll on me.
According to him, he has been in and out of relationships since we broke up, but none of them came close to what we had.
I asked, “I have a child now. Will your family agree for you to marry a single mother?” I have long accepted the reality that being a single mother comes with its own challenges, especially in our part of the world.
He said his parents trusted him enough to make their own decisions, so I shouldn’t worry about that. I am not worried about that at all. I am worried that he hasn’t even, for once, asked me what happened between my baby’s father and me, or why I decided to keep the child. All this while, the conversation has always been centered on him, his feelings, and his wants. His desire to have me back.
He only got to ask me if I was sure I was going to cut ties with my baby’s father if we got back together. Even then, I had to steer the conversation in that direction before he asked.
I am not going to expect another man to take responsibility for someone else’s child, but communication with my child’s father will always be necessary because of our child. He agreed that I was right about that, and he said he was going to try to be okay with it if we got back together.
Who Would You Choose, A Rich Man Or A Man Who’s Good In Bed?
Recently, his messages have gone back to, “I miss you.” “I’m feeling for you.” “I wish to cuddle with you.” “I want you in my arms.” And, “I’m feeling horny.”
It bothers me that that’s all he has to say to me and nothing sensible. I want to block him. But should I tell him to move on with his life and forget about me before blocking him, or is it not important to tell him how I feel?
—Erica
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB<>