I have been married for about thirteen years now, and my husband and I have two children together. Unfortunately, our marriage has been going through a rough patch lately, and a lot of it is because I cheated on him. I did not sit down and plan it. I never woke up one morning and told myself that on a certain day I would betray my husband. It just happened, and even now I do not understand what came over me.
I travelled out of town to attend the funeral of a colleague’s father, and while there I met a family friend. He is very close to my husband, and his wife is also a good friend of mine and a member of our church. We sat together and chatted during the funeral. After the burial, we spent more time together, and one thing led to another. We booked a room in a motel, and while we were talking, our clothes came off and our bodies did the talking.
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During the make-out, he stopped. I was almost in cloud nine when he stopped. I opened my eyes to look at him.
“I just felt a sharp pain. I can’t continue this.”
That was how he got down from me. He started picking up his clothes from the floor, and I followed suit. We dressed up in complete silence. When we were leaving, we said a pledge. Obviously not the national pledge, maybe the cheating pledge.
Both of us admitted that what we had done was wrong morally and spiritually, and we agreed it would never happen again. We also promised each other that nobody would ever know what had happened between us.
We said that and never went back to it until three days later. For the sake of this story, we will call him Kasongo.
Three days after the incident, this man called me and said, “I think your husband has placed black magic on you.”
He said that since the incident, his manhood had become ulcerous and was diminishing in size day by day, and the pain was becoming unbearable.
“You are lying a big fat lie,” was my response to him.
“If you think I am lying, come and see for yourself how the thing has vanished small small.”
We were fighting over who was lying and why.
I was vouching for my husband because, if there is one thing about him, he loves God. He and God are best buddies. He speaks in tongues and walks in the Spirit. He is Ewe; we call him Efo, and he takes his Christian faith very seriously. He is one of the best tenor singers in our church choir. My husband doesn’t like anything related to deities, fetish practices, or anything of that sort. The husband I know, to the best of my knowledge, is a sincere and devoted Christian.
It has now been a week, and from the daily reports I get from Kasongo, he is not getting any better. Worst of all, he has told our pastor, and he has gone to visit two different witch doctors. According to them, only my husband can help him.
I am now standing at a crossroads. He says the only escape plan we have is to come clean. By that, he wants our pastor to mediate and facilitate a meeting where we come clean in front of my husband, who happens to be his friend, so that he can spare him. He says that if his manhood never functions sexually again, he at least wants what is left to be able to pass urine.
Right now, my biggest fear is how my pastor and Kasongo’s wife will see me when all this comes out. As for my husband, I am almost certain this could be the end of our marriage. And I know this is going to be a bumper harvest for my husband because I learned that in their customs, men who adulterate with married women are heavily fined in the traditional court.
I am considering moving out of my matrimonial home before things escalate. My mother was screaming as I was narrating it, and my father sat there with his chin resting in his hands. Their silence when I ended said a lot. I know they are so disappointed in me. They didn’t train me to turn out like this, and they didn’t think I’d end up doing this atrocity. I didn’t think so either.
After thirteen years, through fire and rain, through the good and bad we have persevered through, only for me to end it like this. What will my kids think about me? What will my siblings say? I don’t even know if I am ready for that kind of shame.
My parents are not saying anything either, and they have not suggested how we should go about it. It looks like I have been left alone to carry my own cross, and I will do it. I can’t escape it. Our actions have consequences.
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Meanwhile, I have many questions that need answers. First of all, I want to make things right as much as possible. Should I call Kasongo’s wife and apologize to her myself, or should I leave the matter alone and allow events to unfold naturally?
Secondly, should I leave our matrimonial home before my husband finds out what I have done? We are supposed to have a meeting soon, and honestly, I do not know what awaits me on the other side of it.
—Martha
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