I started suspecting my wife the day she started taking herself seriously. After three kids, she went down and never came up again. She would wear anything to work and wear anything around the house. She walked through the corridors of our church while eating boiled corn. But all of a sudden, this woman started spending time in front of the mirror and buying new clothes.
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She would dress up and come and ask me how she was looking. I would jokingly ask who she was meeting or whether she was seeing one of the national service guys in her office. She would say, “I’ve gotten some old man bi. He wants me sharp and colorful.”
My wife, who didn’t care about funerals, all of a sudden started talking about colleagues’ fathers’ funerals out of town that she wanted to attend. She wouldn’t only talk about them but would send me obituary photos and say, “This is a colleague in my office’s father. The funeral is this weekend.”
Sometimes she would leave on Saturday and return on Sunday. All of that made me suspicious but I didn’t have proof and sometimes I thought it was just in my head because what man would even want a woman with three kids and a belly like a pouch?
Until one day she said she was attending a birthday party for one of their directors at night. My wife, months ago, wouldn’t have been bothered but this time she even shopped for dresses for it. I asked about the place and time and she gave me the flyer.
When she left the house, I called my younger sister to come over and take care of the kids for a few hours.
I went to the venue and observed from afar. Yes, she was there. She was seated at a table where only ladies were sitting. She was having fun, eating and shouting. I even felt embarrassed for tracking her when all she was doing was having fun.
I came back a few hours later and my sister left. My wife came home at 2 a.m. A party for a seventy-year-old man going on until 2 a.m.? She said she couldn’t leave at the time the party was catching fire so she had to stay and have fun.
We had been married for seven years and this was the only period I was seeing my wife in a different light. Anytime I thought about her cheating, I also thought about the other side where I felt everything was too good for her to cheat on me.
And then one afternoon, I got access to her phone. The first chat I opened was between her and a contact saved as Uncle Tom. They had chatted since morning and she had only stopped talking to him when she started washing.
Everything in the messages smelled like cheating to me but there was nothing concrete until I got to the part where my wife said, “I think he’s beginning to suspect me so I have to be careful.”
He responded, “Oh, now he cares enough to suspect you? Tell him to get out of here!” And they both burst out laughing through emojis.
She kept coming in and going out so I had to put her phone down when I heard her footsteps approaching. Finally, she came for her phone. Still, there was nothing concrete.
That night, when we slept and I picked up her phone again, she had deleted all the messages between herself and Uncle Tom. So I picked his number, just in case.
I monitored my wife’s phone every day and night whenever I had the chance. Then one day, I read a message from the man saying, “Sorry we had to cancel plans. I had to travel this weekend so we might not be able to meet on Saturday.”
My wife sent a crying emoji. He said, “Don’t worry, when I come back I will make it up to you. How many can you take? Let me train for it.”
My wife had told me she was travelling for a funeral that Saturday. On Friday evening when I asked if she would be going, she said, “I’m feeling too lazy and tired to go. I will swerve them and not go.”
I confronted her there and then. “Uncle Tom is travelling so all of a sudden no funeral, right? You think I don’t know?” You could see fear in her eyes but she managed to play it cool, asking me who Uncle Tom was. I told her everything I had read and my wife said, “The only Uncle Tom I know is my own uncle but I haven’t spoken to him in years.”
I took her phone and dialed Uncle Tom’s number and the name appeared on her phone. She said, “Ahuh, that’s my uncle so what are you talking about?” The phone kept ringing until she tried to snatch it from me because she didn’t want the guy to pick up. But the guy did and his salutation was, “Hey babe.” I screamed, “My wife is your babe. God will pun…”
He cut the line.
My wife fought tooth and nail to deny everything I said. It pained me that I didn’t have screenshots but I wasn’t going to allow her to play the fool with me. I asked her to leave my house before it turned bloody. She screamed, “I’m not going anywhere. If you like, k!ll me. I’m not leaving.”
The next day I used another line to call Tom and what he said shocked me to the bone. “Ah, why are you bothered about a woman you don’t like? You love her and you treated her like she didn’t matter? Stop calling my phone and deal with her. I’m not the one who took a vow for you.”
Again, he dropped the line.
Me not loving my wife? How? When I pushed my wife to the wall, she started talking about everything she thought was wrong with our marriage. That I don’t help with the kids in any way and that paying school fees alone isn’t care. That I had abandoned her emotionally and left her to rot. That I wasn’t supporting her financially and all I did was put every burden on her and later in the night ask for sex.
“When was the last time you bought something nice for me?” she asked. “But when I buy you something you take it without saying thank you.” She went on and on until I asked, “So that’s the reason you’re cheating with Tom?” She asked, “Who is Tom? It’s only you who knows him.”
I threw her out of the door and I’m currently living alone with my kids. Families have been trying to resolve the issue for the last four months but my wife insists she wasn’t cheating with anyone. She says I’m conjuring things from the skies so I can divorce her and that she’s ready for the divorce.
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That’s where we are currently. I’m ready to forgive and heal but she’s not ready to tell the truth. It looks like she wants the divorce more than the marriage. Time will tell.
Until she confesses the truth, there will be no marriage. And I’ve also been doing my investigations to meet that Tom guy face to face. He has to explain what he said on the phone to me.
—Casper
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